Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
