he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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