I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize