he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
