His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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