There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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