hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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