I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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