Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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