I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
