I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
