just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
