You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
