The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
