I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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