PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
