He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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