This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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