Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
