you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
