She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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