Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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