Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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