It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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