things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
