how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
