It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
