You're so nebulous sometimes
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
