Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
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You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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