You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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