I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
