Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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