Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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