Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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