it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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