So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
