It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
