am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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