i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
