My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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