Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
