Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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