Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
