The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
