I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
