I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
