i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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