I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
