OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
