yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
