We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
