How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
