Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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