Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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