I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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