She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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