Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
