it wasn't lemon gatorade
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
