I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
