pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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