It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Two words: nipple clamps
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