is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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