I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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