apparently the secret to your success is patron
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
