in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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