Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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