sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize