I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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