But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
