Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
